Clean jokes - post 'em here

kevinchess1 · Post by **kevinchess1** » Sun Jun 19 2016 7:47am

I used to be badly addicted to the Okey-Cokey
But I turned myself around and that what it's all about

kevinchess1 · Post by **kevinchess1** » Sun Jun 19 2016 8:02am

To raise money for the eczema charity they've brought out a range of scratch cards.

kevinchess1 · Post by **kevinchess1** » Wed Jun 22 2016 7:56pm

Genie: "And thats definitely your wish?"
Me: [smiles at my wife in wheelchair] "yes"
Genie: "OK"
our dog: "How can i talk all of a sudden?"

kevinchess1 · Post by **kevinchess1** » Fri Jun 24 2016 10:33pm

Have you been hit with a rhythm stick?
If so you could be entitled to compensation with a personal Ian Dury claim.

kevinchess1 · Post by **kevinchess1** » Sun Jul 10 2016 12:00pm

Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair on my top lip.
Must dash

kevinchess1 · Post by **kevinchess1** » Thu Jul 21 2016 2:25pm

Great thing about being self employed is working in my pants. Although I'm not sure the other people in this shared office are quite so keen

kevinchess1 · Post by **kevinchess1** » Sat Jul 23 2016 5:03pm

Women only say I'm ugly until they find out how much money I have

Then they say I'm ugly and poor...

kevinchess1 · Post by **kevinchess1** » Thu Jul 28 2016 5:53pm

You can never lose a homing pigeon.
If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you’ve lost is just a pigeon.

kevinchess1 · Post by **kevinchess1** » Fri Jul 29 2016 6:04pm

I've invented a new type of crisps, if they're successful I could make a packet.

kevinchess1 · Post by **kevinchess1** » Sat Jul 30 2016 10:15am

"If you want to see 'Nuclear Armageddon', please press the red button now"