Clean jokes - post 'em here

kevinchess1 · Post by **kevinchess1** » Sat Aug 13 2016 12:17pm

My Mrs says I have a short attention spanners are great aren't they...

kevinchess1 · Post by **kevinchess1** » Sat Aug 13 2016 11:07pm

I accidentally gave my girlfriend a glue stick instead of chapstick...

She's still not talking to me.

kevinchess1 · Post by **kevinchess1** » Thu Aug 18 2016 9:44pm

I can’t spell apocalypse.

Still It's not like it is the end of the world.

kevinchess1 · Post by **kevinchess1** » Fri Aug 19 2016 12:03pm

Apparently one in three Europeans are conceived on an IKEA bed, which is crazy because those stores are really well lit.”

kevinchess1 · Post by **kevinchess1** » Sun Aug 21 2016 7:11pm

Can someone tell me the postcode for central Newcastle?
NE1?

kevinchess1 · Post by **kevinchess1** » Tue Aug 23 2016 10:51am

My son has suggested that I register for a donor card. He's a man after my own heart

macliam · Post by **macliam** » Tue Aug 23 2016 11:15am

kevinchess1 wrote:My son has suggested that I register for a donor card. He's a man after my own heart

You are Masai Graham and I claim my five Pounds!

kevinchess1 · Post by **kevinchess1** » Thu Sep 01 2016 4:24pm

Am I disappointed that my voice activated car is not working properly?
Yes, it goes without saying.

kevinchess1 · Post by **kevinchess1** » Sat Sep 03 2016 3:12pm

I'm pretty sure I've got an abnormal curvature of the spine...
Call it a hunch

kevinchess1 · Post by **kevinchess1** » Sun Sep 04 2016 9:37pm

I offered Expresso £5 for a go on his Stenna stair lift...

I thinks he's going to take me up on it.