imutual.co.uk

I never bother with chemistry pun, because you don’t get much reaction

I'm setting up a rental service for people needing artificial limbs, so let me know if you're willing to lend a hand.

kevinchess1 wrote:I'm setting up a rental service for people needing artificial limbs, so let me know if you're willing to lend a hand.

- I expect a lot of people will be giving you the finger

Have we done these old ones yet?

This years fashionable colours are yellow, brown and pink. I read it in Neopolitan magazine.

Do you believe in reincarnation? I prefer milk.

There seem to be plenty of people on both sides putting the "dumb" into "referendum".

I don't like French pancakes, they give me the crêpes

Going cheese-hunting tomorrow. Just me & some friends, shooting the bries.

Whatever you do, always give 100%
Not V good advice at the blood donation centre

One of my birds of prey will only exercise at night to 80s music.

Our kestrel manoeuvres in the dark.

Mackem at Customer Service in MorrisMens
'This is a complete rip off, i want me money back!'
CS 'And what is the problem with the Instant Bar-B-Que?'
M 'Look at the picture.'
CS 'Picture?'
M 'It shows steaks, sausages, chicken and burgers. I didn't get any of that, just a load of black charcoal.;
CS 'Sir it does state 'Illustrative purpose only.'
M 'Don't try and hide behind your fancy Latin terms a to try and confuse me, It's a rip off
CS 'Okay sir I will give you a full refund IF you have a receipt.'
M 'Well of course I do.' says Mackem handing him a crumpled piece of paper.'
CS ' Wait it says here you brought 4 of these, where are the other 3?'
M 'In me freezer.'