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Magnum PI

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New Birds eye advert?

I bought a load of Oxo and Knorr cubes. I'm stockpiling.

Me, buy a coffin?
That’s the last thing I need

The Lone Ranger and Tonto were camping in the wilderness. After they got their tent set up, both men fell sound asleep. Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says,"'Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see?"
The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars."
"What that tell you?" asked Tonto.
The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, "Astronomically-speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time-wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you,Tonto?"

"You dumber than buffalo... It mean someone stole tent."

I asked Leo to go and get me a newspaper , he said "grandad you are so old , just use my I-Pad ". So I picked up his I-Pad and slammed it on the floor and killed the big hairy spider.

The police have just arrested the world tongue-twister champion.
He's expected to receive a tough sentence.

Pochettino's wife this morning: Darling wake up it's 8.

Pochettino: What? Bayern scored again?

Chadwick wrote: ↑

Wed Oct 02 2019 2:23pm

The police have just arrested the world tongue-twister champion.
He's expected to receive a tough sentence.

Was she selling sea shells?