imutual.co.uk

Father Christmas gave me a tip to keep the vegetable patch weed free. Simply Hoe hoe hoe.

On the 12th Day of Christmas the election gave to me.....12 Lib Dem MPs.

Whenever I see the banners saying "Bom Natal" in Portugal, I remember the handwritten addition "and strafe Pretoria" I saw on my first visit to the Algarve, back in apartheid days...........

Nowadays, it's rarer to see such signs - they've been replaced by the transatlantiic "Boas Festas" (Happy Holidays)......

As one door closes, another door opens.
blythburgh and her Advent calendar

Luke 'Christmas these days is a lot like having sex, the build up is great but when it finally comes, I always regret spending all that money.

“Royal Mail requires staff to cover busy Christmas period.”

Sounds like Prince Andrew is back to his old ways this festive season.

Darth Vader ‘I know what you’re getting for Christmas Luke.’
Luke ‘How?’
DV ‘I felt your presence.’
Luke ‘Groan that’s such a Dad joke.’
DV It’s funny that you say that.’

I’ve got a Microsoft advent calendar
Open more than 1 window and the all close again

‘Deck the halls and not your family
Fa a la la la la la la’

I;ve got a Travelodge advent calendar
cant open any of the windows