Christmas jokes 2019

The light-hearted side of life
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Christmas jokes 2019

Post by kevinchess1 » Mon Dec 02, 2019 5:12 pm

You all know how this works
I'll start with the traditional
Q. How does Good King Wencelas like his pizza :?:

(Chadwick that's your cue :thumbup: )
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Re: Christmas jokes 2019

Post by kevinchess1 » Mon Dec 02, 2019 8:00 pm

He's making a list,

He's checking it twice,

He's gonna find out who's naughty or nice.


Santa Claus is in contravention of article 4 of the General Data Protection Regulation (EU) 2016/679
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Re: Christmas jokes 2019

Post by macliam » Mon Dec 02, 2019 10:25 pm

kevinchess1 wrote:
Mon Dec 02, 2019 8:00 pm
He's making a list,

He's checking it twice,

He's gonna find out who's naughty or nice.


Santa Claus is in contravention of article 4 of the General Data Protection Regulation (EU) 2016/679
Actually, as I'm sure Boro Boy could tell you, that regulation failed to achieve quorum due to foot and mouth preventing the Latvian elk post from delivering the required notice. Despite an appeal for more time by Estonia, the Baltic states were unable to agree a proxy and the process timed out during the annual transfer of ex-Soviet tractors between Riga and Tallinn.
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Re: Christmas jokes 2019

Post by kevinchess1 » Tue Dec 03, 2019 7:24 am

And into Mary a child was born.
He was surrounded by Sheperds, wise men, cattle , Lattes and cookies.
It was a Pret a Manger
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Re: Christmas jokes 2019

Post by kevinchess1 » Tue Dec 03, 2019 3:36 pm

Just brought an Advent calender from Jehovah's Witness
Behind every door some tell you to 'Get lost!'
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Re: Christmas jokes 2019

Post by kevinchess1 » Tue Dec 03, 2019 4:59 pm

Im that skint ive just opened the door on my advent calendar and a baliff was stood there
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Re: Christmas jokes 2019

Post by sanity clause » Wed Dec 04, 2019 10:05 am

kevinchess1 wrote:
Tue Dec 03, 2019 3:36 pm
Just brought an Advent calender from Jehovah's Witness
Behind every door some tell you to 'Get lost!'
That's the most polite version of that joke I've ever heard! :o
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Re: Christmas jokes 2019

Post by kevinchess1 » Wed Dec 04, 2019 6:35 pm

Cant see advent calenders being about muched longer
Their days are numbered
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Re: Christmas jokes 2019

Post by kevinchess1 » Thu Dec 05, 2019 11:19 pm

You know the most popular wine at Christmas?

‘I hope you’ve got the receipt!’
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Re: Christmas jokes 2019

Post by kevinchess1 » Sat Dec 07, 2019 2:05 pm

If you know anyone who is spending Christmas Day alone, can you let me know.
I need to borrow some chairs
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