Clean jokes - post 'em here

The light-hearted side of life
blythburgh
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by blythburgh » Wed Sep 23, 2020 8:33 am

Boris Johnson and Dominic Cummings are on a plane, Boris looked at Cummings, chuckled and said, "You know, I could throw a £1,000 note out of the window right now and make somebody happy." Cummings shrugged his shoulders and replied, "I could throw ten £100 notes out of the window and make ten people happy" Hearing… their exchange, the pilot said to his co-pilot,"Such big-shots, I could throw both of them out of the window and make 30 million people ecstatic!" If you're one of the 30 million keep this going !!

Ok so I have done a copy and paste but it made me laugh and just obeying the last line:
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pakefield
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by pakefield » Wed Sep 23, 2020 10:46 am

Only 30 million???????

expressman33
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by expressman33 » Mon Oct 05, 2020 11:59 am

Liverpool FC have been reported to the police for letting more than 6 in . https://www.skysports.com/football/a-vi ... ool/428868
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Mon Oct 05, 2020 10:06 pm

expressman33 wrote:
Mon Oct 05, 2020 11:59 am
Liverpool FC have been reported to the police for letting more than 6 in . https://www.skysports.com/football/a-vi ... ool/428868
Kloop was so upset by the result he's decides to get away for a few days
He pops into the travel agent and asks him for suggestion' 'Rent a place in Spain!' He replies adding 'You can't beat a good villa at this time of year :lol:
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Sun Oct 11, 2020 6:22 pm

Does anyone know where I can buy some Bonsai trees :?:
The Littlewoods catalogue is no help :thumbdown:
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expressman33
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by expressman33 » Fri Oct 16, 2020 8:39 am

Got a busy day today. Opticians, chemist and then a snack from Greggs. So it'll be....
Specs and drugs and sausage roll.
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by expressman33 » Sat Oct 17, 2020 12:04 pm

BREAKING NEWS ------ There's been a fight in the biscuit tin , a lad called Rocky hit a Penguin over the head with a Club , tied him to a Waggon Wheel with a Blue Ribbon and made his Breakaway in a Taxi . Police say Rocky was last seen After Eight in Maryland with a Ginger Nut known to the police as Rich T. They didn't leave a crumb of evidence so the Jammi Dodgers got away with it ..
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Sun Oct 18, 2020 12:14 pm

(In the Library) 'Excuse me, Have you got any books about what life will be like after a 'No deal Brexit?'
'I've nothing on the shelves.'
'Yes, that's the one.'
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by xxxraichxxx » Wed Oct 28, 2020 8:25 pm

How do Mexicans keep warm?
They use chicken for heaters
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Wed Oct 28, 2020 8:36 pm

Mexican word of the day: Bodywash

Joe Biden was on TV But no bodywash him
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