Clean jokes - post 'em here

The light-hearted side of life
kevinchess1
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Sun Dec 06 2020 5:24pm

'He built himself a metal suit and he fly's around and fights aliens with the Avengers.'

Iron mansplaining :D
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xxxraichxxx
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by xxxraichxxx » Mon Dec 07 2020 8:55pm

I've never been married...

But I've had a few near Mrs!
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xxxraichxxx
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by xxxraichxxx » Thu Dec 10 2020 8:09pm

Bloke from Barnsley with piles asks chemist "Nah then lad, does tha sell arse cream?"Chemist replies "Aye, Magnum or Cornetto?"
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by xxxraichxxx » Sat Dec 12 2020 12:43pm

Me: I bought a gun due to my extreme bird phobia
Therapist: I think you may be getting carried away
Me: *fires shots in the air* .. not without a fight I won't be ...
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Chadwick
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by Chadwick » Sat Dec 12 2020 10:37pm

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Europe
Europe who?
NO, YOU'RE A POO!
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by expressman33 » Tue Dec 15 2020 1:14pm

Image
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by kevinchess1 » Tue Dec 15 2020 2:43pm

?
This is the Joke forum
If you want to start a debate with your propaganda then use another forum
Politically incorrect since 69

Sarah
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by Sarah » Tue Dec 15 2020 2:52pm

Bad punctuation & capitalisation is no laughing matter; but perhaps the spelling is a joke?
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by expressman33 » Tue Dec 15 2020 7:56pm

kevinchess1 wrote:
Tue Dec 15 2020 2:43pm
?
This is the Joke forum
If you want to start a debate with your propaganda then use another forum
So you don't want a VACATION ?
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by expressman33 » Thu Dec 17 2020 11:10am

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patty Whack.
"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a £30,000 loan to take a holiday."
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.
Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow £30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"
(You're gonna love this.)
The bank manager looks back at her and says, "It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
(You sang it, didn't you? Yeah, I know you did.)
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