Clean jokes - post 'em here

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expressman33
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by expressman33 » Sun Nov 28 2021 12:42pm

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.
Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary.
Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.
Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."
John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird spoke-up, very softly, "May I ask what the turkey did?"
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macliam
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Sun Nov 28 2021 5:30pm

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Just because I'm paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get me

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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Sun Nov 28 2021 5:31pm

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Just because I'm paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get me

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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Sun Nov 28 2021 8:23pm

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Just because I'm paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get me

blythburgh
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by blythburgh » Tue Nov 30 2021 8:50am

My other Irish online friend has been busy after the HideoutTV code yesterday:

Crop tops are very efficient.
They don't let anything go to waist.

The Taliban are banning opium and will be growing olives instead.
For the extra virgin.

An Irish farmer succeeds in growing a field of vibrators. next to a convent.
He now has a problem with squatters

When I was growing up I had terrible parents. First, my dad, knowing I loved music, gave me an air guitar for Christmans. Second, my mum used to wash my hair in lager. Thst's when I discovered I was Fostered.
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Keep smiling because the light at the end of someone's tunnel may be you, Ron Cheneler

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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Wed Dec 01 2021 11:38am

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Just because I'm paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get me

expressman33
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by expressman33 » Thu Dec 02 2021 12:23pm

Raich was really disappointed with the bargain colander I bought her , she said it only had 25 holes in it . Then I showed her the packaging , it said Christmas Advent Colander.
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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Thu Dec 02 2021 3:39pm

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Just because I'm paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get me

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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by macliam » Thu Dec 02 2021 3:40pm

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Just because I'm paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get me

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Re: Clean jokes - post 'em here

Post by Sarah » Fri Dec 03 2021 6:34pm

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